Dear Stranger-

When was the last time you did something for someone you didn’t know?

Today while on a flight –for Chicago- to see my family for the holidays (a LONG overdue trip), I:

ü      Gave up my seat to a family that had small children and wanted to sit together,

ü      Let a young guy sit in his favorite seat – the window, he was 4 years old

ü      And I even lent him my favorite book to read on the flight (Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr Seuss).

I’m only 1.5 hrs into my trip and it’s already successful; I wish you well on yours!

-Tempo

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Dear Stranger-

It was nice meeting you– thanks for being willing to talk to a stranger!

In our conversation, I remember you said you have been growing your locs for about 3 years?  I’m just passing my third month.  If you have any tips on how to offset dry, itchy scalp, I’m all ears! 

BTW-  Hit me up and tell me more about what your are doing in the “biz”.

-Tempo

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For the Bedroom - $450.00 OBO

• Slightly used Cal King-sized Europa Gemini Luxury Mattress ($1,000 value)
  • Pillow-top
  • Foam enclosed
  • 5-zoned wrapped coil and circular knit cover
  • matching box springs and frame included
• Stylin’ comforter with bed sham and 2 king-sized pillow covers ($100.00 value)
• Lamp
• Iron
• And finally, a glass Chess and Checkers set, guaranteed to keep your mind sharp

The Office Package:

• A fully functional, near new, wooden office desk, chair included($100.00 value)
• Brand new Lexmark printer (only printed 25 sheets of paper), with photo paper
• Near new Sony SRS-D2100 Satellite computer gaming speakers equipped with sub-woffer and 2 satellite mountable speakers. ($100.00 value)
• Near brand new Wireless G network card with CD drivers and Original packaging included($60.00 value)
• Near brand new Linksys Modem and Original packaging included($80.00 value)
• Internet Security Software Suite
• Cox Internet setup Kit (waiting in those lines were a…)
• 40+ blank burnable CD’s
• And even white board with markers to help you get/keep your thoughts rolling

The above mention accounts share one valuable characteristic in common with my locs. As my loctician explained to me the locking growth process, in my mind it clicked: they grow from the roots.

Now that may seem counter-intuitive to most of you, but as I began thinking about why I was experiencing certain issues (itching, fuzziness, dryness, insecurity) I was reminded that they are products of how they were trained and maintained.

If I forget to tie my hair down at night or neglect to keep my locs separated, I must live with the results. After all, I grew them.

On the other hand, when I get my locs tightened regularly (or maintain them myself), or give my scalp a good shampoo and condition it well, I reap the outcome. The effort I put in, I get out.

Now to my point. Why haven’t I written about my locs in more than a month? I was busy growing them (truth be told I was busy getting comfortable with them and deciding whether or not to cut them).

For the month of September, I was pre-occupied confronting the answer to, “how would I feel if I did let them go?” Let them go as in NOT let them grow and cut them out.

The answer was neither immediate nor easy. So unlike picking up a workout regimen where I left off or finishing that book I never found time to read, I came to the conclusion that cutting my locs without fair chance would be much more personal and much more painful.

Ultimately, I let them grow. And I committed to give the process more time.

What I learned from this decision-packed month was a little nugget of a lesson that I am also applying to situations with my family, friends, YS, other parts of my life, “Give it a chance, nurture it, let it un-obstructively grow because your action (or lack there of) will make you commitment level crystal clear”- your decision should appropriately follow.

(After I finished writing this piece, I did something that was about a week overdue- I washed my hair, then spent all of 3+ hours re-twisting it. Here are shots of the process and my commitment to give my locs time, enjoy)

I washed them… (this was a huge decision because my locs were gonna blow out!)

I rinsed…

And I survived another week.

I had one such encounter with a company recently, but fortunately, I didn’t yell, scream, or cuss (not that I remember, at least). On the contrary, I was articulate, persistent, and assertive (almost to the point of demanding). And I was surprised by the outcome.

At the conclusion of my assertive stand, I was not brushed off, put off, or dismissed .

The short of it: I received $250.00, and a free total apartment shampoo to resolve my complaints…and a hug!?! While I think my residential inconvenience was worth way more than the appeasements I received, the unorthodox emotional approach of the manager’s tactics were quite successful. By the end of our meeting, we both respected that we stood on opposite sides of a resolution, and while managers can seem very dismissive most of the time, we both appreciated that we treated each other as human.

MSN had an interesting piece about how being courteous generally gets one much further along in a dispute than being a jerk. The next time you are put in a situation and you need to demand a manager try the calm, assertive you-will-not-dismiss-me approach, you may be surprised by the results.

p.s. - The above situation was a quite an unusual outcome, but we all know the squeaky wheel gets the oil.  But say, for instance, your attempt to get at a favorable resolution to an issue you’re having is not being solved to your satisfaction.  You may want to check out MSN’s other article about resolving complaints by…threats!  Trust me, I was only one more failed conversation away from taking the same approach.

-Tempo

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The research I’d done on home buying covered the home search and loan process extensively, but when it came to instructions on what to do after you’ve made an offer all my books seemed to be on an informational diet. Even Home Buying for Dummies, my relatively comprehensive bible to the home buying process, offered little more than interview questions in the section on inspections. Luckily for me I only wasted about a few hours aimlessly calling inspection companies in the phone book when I decided to stop shooting in the dark, and relied on family recommendations to locate a quality inspector. I wound up hiring Dale Butler of Pro Home Inspection Service to inspect my potential home.

Fortunately, Dale turned out to be a better inspector than I could have asked for. He was licensed, insured, thorough, and very personable and reassuring. He also came equipped with his own recommendations for contractors who could help me make the necessary repairs for my home. Unfortunately, preparing the home for inspection was not a (more…)

‘Oohhh, if I didn’t need this job I would be outta’ here right now.’ I have caught myself thinking, mumbling, yelling that phrase one too many times in my life. Although, when I said it the other day, a voice answered, “Would you?” Dumbfounded. I was stopped in my tracks by this one simple question and had no definitive come back. Luckily an alert that I had a new message in my email inbox gave me a relief, or so I thought.

When I opened the email the subject read, “Live Life Fully.”

(more…)

In an attempt to satisfy my cravings in life I have over committed myself and started to loose control of my time. Somewhere along the line I’ve started to sidetrack the things that are most important to me- spending time with my family, boyfriend, and friends, writing, feeding my spirituality, building my business, and enjoying new experiences life, to take on roles that add value to my life but invaluably consume vast amounts of time in the process.

Right now, my biggest time consumer is my 8-4 job working at a small private University.

(more…)

I resolved to offer the seller $11,000 below listing price to make up for the cosmetic work needed on the home.

(more…)

What I need out of my living situation to be productive:
• Personal space and privacy
• Enough space to keep my things neat and organized
• Multiple rooms that offer a change of environment
• Clean and safe
• Comfortable bed where I can get a good night’s rest
• A desk where I can write and create
• Lots of natural lighting
• Space to store my books and brainstorm my ideas

Living that would make me happy:
• Bay window where I can sit and read in the sun
• Patio or deck to observe the outdoors
• Within walking distance of cultural activities and grocery stores
• Friendly, creative and outgoing neighbors
• Comfortable yet trendy urban living
• Eco friendly
• Close to beautiful parks and green spaces
• Beautiful views
• A home that compliments my YS life style
• Creative space to display and work on my photography
• Friends nearby
• Close to light rail or other rapid public transportation
• Community activities like block parties, and neighborhood gatherings

The ultimate dream:
• A floating luxury vacation home
• Unique design and architecture
• A water wall
• A large tropical aquarium in my living room
• Decorative outdoor spaces for entertaining
• Cutting edge neighborhood
• Contemporary interior design
• Heated floors
• Integrated sound system and technology
• Game room with wet bar
• Hot tub
• Home office with private entrance

What living features top your dream list?

I ask because I had my first encounter with teaching my peers today. I am teaching a University seminar for first year students, and while I am thrilled about the time I get to spend with them each week, I am overwhelmed with the possibilities of what information I should share and how I should share it. Right now my hunch is to share with them the tools to acquire knowledge and teach themselves. Quite the general approach to pedagogy, but learning to acquire information and ask effective questions has been the greatest lesson I’ve learned. What’s been the most potent lesson for you?

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An assist in basketball is one of the most visually appealing plays in the game, and done well, it gets results! The company Sanuk.com gets an assist from YS because they have chased their dream and built a business around things that help people who buy them (in my case my weak foot muscles). So if you’re in the market for some new, unique kicks check out sanuk.com- you might find something you like and learn a little bit too.

From my feet to yours, spread some “Sanuk-iness.”

-Tempo

Oh, by the way, I have to give an assist to Gilbert Velazquez (the guy I work with) for hittin’ me up to these shoes.

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This book, I’ve found, is truly worth its weight. I haven’t read this book to get more intimate with the nemesis of my success, but to actualize the results of ’slaying the dragon’ (slaying the dragon is a metaphor for defeating resistance in our lives, from the The War of Art). This book had been a tool by which to challenge everything that would come after, “I would, but…” and transformed my statements to “I will; I am, and…”

For all I have accomplished in my life this past year, I can say that I have waged war against my fears and I am winning!

What are you armed with? Good Luck to you in your fight.

-Tempo

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• November ‘03 - The concert where Jay-Z made history and sold out Madison Square Garden, solo!
• May ‘04 - My baby cousin’s High School graduation
• May ‘06 - My Dad’s graduation from Seminary
• February ’07 - The “legendary” Colts vs. the Bears Super bowl XLI
• 2003 to 2007 - The past four family Christmases (I was the only person on the entire side of my Mom’s family to ‘not be able to attend’)
• Spring ‘07 - The very first wedding of any of my cousins

Unlike most lists of accomplishment, this list describes all the significant events in my recent past that I missed – my Could NOT Do List. The final straw for me was my family’s disappointment when I told them the reason I would be missing my Dad’s graduation was because of the significant financial setback it would trigger. I missed one of my Dad’s life-long dreams!

(more…)

The three places I looked at today all had one great aspect of what I would look for in a home but they fell miserably short in other categories. Some of the places made it hard to believe that people would even make an investment to live there; the first showing was near the light rail, but for the $209 HOA I would expect the grounds to be clean, well kept and the buildings not crumbling from neglect.

The second location gave me a little more hope. The lawns were well manicured, I could hear the birds chirping and the environment was much more pleasant. However, the site of the actual townhouses left me feeling like I had flashed back to the 1920’s and not in a trendy cute retro kind of a way. The units were boxy and seemed counterintuitive to today’s living standards. Of the three visits this was probably my favorite, but I had a hard time picturing myself getting excited to come home to a place like this everyday.

(more…)

To date, it’s been eight months since I returned to my childhood home. Being here I’ve been able to build up an emergency fund, wet my wanderlust, and be more leisurely in my spending habits. But now that I’ve reached my savings goals and started to get my bearings on the life I want to live, I am more than ready to strike out on my own and give my redesign process a boost.
(more…)

My Loctician: “I don’t know why you were so embarrassed about your locs on the phone, they’re much better than you made them seem. Here, they look like they need a good shampoo and re-twisting.” The word ’shampoo’ was music to my ears. While getting my hair cleansed, I learned why Herbal Essence sells the illusion of sex on their shampoo commercials:

1. sex sells
2. when you give you a desperate scalp deep cleansing relief, it’s orgasmic

I felt sorta guilty telling my girlfriend that my loctician gave me a near tantric experience in the form of a shampoo (really, I promise I felt bad), but I had to be honest.

(more…)

Constantly, they would bark at me about how much potential I had and how making such a non-mainstream move could really jeopardize my ability to gain success and move up the corporate ladder. I’m glad I found the courage to follow my own heart…and start my own business!
(more…)

New release movies at today’s theaters range from $5 - $12 depending on where you live. New releases at a movie rental company range from $3.50 - $5 depending on the rental company. That’s where most people’s movie choices end, but while I was living in Colorado I discovered a new way to watch new releases.

No not bootlegs or torrents, but the discount movie theater where new releases range from $1 - $3, and if you can catch the flick on Super-discount day the price of admission to movie is 1/2 off.

(more…)

A couple of years ago, I realized I had a problem with making so many snap judgments I couldn’t even allow myself to change my own mind about something — even if I ultimately thought it wasn’t so bad! Fortunately, this bad habit is being changed in my life, especially since lately I am promoting my company Young Savvy, and hoping people will be compassionate to my cause.

-Tempo

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