Placed:  In the movie guide on my Frontier flight 

Dear Stranger-

When was the last time you did something for someone you didn’t know?

Today while on a flight –for Chicago- to see my family for the holidays (a LONG overdue trip), I:

ü      Gave up my seat to a family that had small children and wanted to sit together,

ü      Let a young guy sit in his favorite seat – the window, he was 4 years old

ü      And I even lent him my favorite book to read on the flight (Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr Seuss).

I’m only 1.5 hrs into my trip and it’s already successful; I wish you well on yours!

-Tempo

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Given to: The guy I talked to in the seat in front of me on my flight to Chicago.

Dear Stranger-

It was nice meeting you– thanks for being willing to talk to a stranger!

In our conversation, I remember you said you have been growing your locs for about 3 years?  I’m just passing my third month.  If you have any tips on how to offset dry, itchy scalp, I’m all ears! 

BTW-  Hit me up and tell me more about what your are doing in the “biz”.

-Tempo

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If you live in Phoenix, AZ - check out these incredible deals:

For the Bedroom - $450.00 OBO

• Slightly used Cal King-sized Europa Gemini Luxury Mattress ($1,000 value)
  • Pillow-top
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  • 5-zoned wrapped coil and circular knit cover
  • matching box springs and frame included
• Stylin’ comforter with bed sham and 2 king-sized pillow covers ($100.00 value)
• Lamp
• Iron
• And finally, a glass Chess and Checkers set, guaranteed to keep your mind sharp

The Office Package:

• A fully functional, near new, wooden office desk, chair included($100.00 value)
• Brand new Lexmark printer (only printed 25 sheets of paper), with photo paper
• Near new Sony SRS-D2100 Satellite computer gaming speakers equipped with sub-woffer and 2 satellite mountable speakers. ($100.00 value)
• Near brand new Wireless G network card with CD drivers and Original packaging included($60.00 value)
• Near brand new Linksys Modem and Original packaging included($80.00 value)
• Internet Security Software Suite
• Cox Internet setup Kit (waiting in those lines were a…)
• 40+ blank burnable CD’s
• And even white board with markers to help you get/keep your thoughts rolling

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It was one of the most basic principles we know and yet I had to be reminded of it. A seed is planted, then carefully nourished, and steadily grows. A business is booming- after years of tossing around an idea, a plan was developed and promoted. A superstar basketball player enjoys the sweet taste of victory; the crowd watched in awe as he played the best game of his life. Although he made the game look so easy, the player knew that his talent was not overnight, it was a process, a gradual discovery of discipline. His game was perfected over time.  We reap what we sow.

The above mention accounts share one valuable characteristic in common with my locs. As my loctician explained to me the locking growth process, in my mind it clicked: they grow from the roots.

Now that may seem counter-intuitive to most of you, but as I began thinking about why I was experiencing certain issues (itching, fuzziness, dryness, insecurity) I was reminded that they are products of how they were trained and maintained.

If I forget to tie my hair down at night or neglect to keep my locs separated, I must live with the results. After all, I grew them.

On the other hand, when I get my locs tightened regularly (or maintain them myself), or give my scalp a good shampoo and condition it well, I reap the outcome. The effort I put in, I get out.

Now to my point. Why haven’t I written about my locs in more than a month? I was busy growing them (truth be told I was busy getting comfortable with them and deciding whether or not to cut them).

For the month of September, I was pre-occupied confronting the answer to, “how would I feel if I did let them go?” Let them go as in NOT let them grow and cut them out.

The answer was neither immediate nor easy. So unlike picking up a workout regimen where I left off or finishing that book I never found time to read, I came to the conclusion that cutting my locs without fair chance would be much more personal and much more painful.

Ultimately, I let them grow. And I committed to give the process more time.

What I learned from this decision-packed month was a little nugget of a lesson that I am also applying to situations with my family, friends, YS, other parts of my life, “Give it a chance, nurture it, let it un-obstructively grow because your action (or lack there of) will make you commitment level crystal clear”- your decision should appropriately follow.

(After I finished writing this piece, I did something that was about a week overdue- I washed my hair, then spent all of 3+ hours re-twisting it. Here are shots of the process and my commitment to give my locs time, enjoy)

I washed them… (this was a huge decision because my locs were gonna blow out!)

I rinsed…

And I survived another week.

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Have you ever had a horrible experience with a company, and felt so hopeless that you did drastic things? Like yell, scream, even cuss in a desperate attempt to be heard?

I had one such encounter with a company recently, but fortunately, I didn’t yell, scream, or cuss (not that I remember, at least). On the contrary, I was articulate, persistent, and assertive (almost to the point of demanding). And I was surprised by the outcome.

At the conclusion of my assertive stand, I was not brushed off, put off, or dismissed .

The short of it: I received $250.00, and a free total apartment shampoo to resolve my complaints…and a hug!?! While I think my residential inconvenience was worth way more than the appeasements I received, the unorthodox emotional approach of the manager’s tactics were quite successful. By the end of our meeting, we both respected that we stood on opposite sides of a resolution, and while managers can seem very dismissive most of the time, we both appreciated that we treated each other as human.

MSN had an interesting piece about how being courteous generally gets one much further along in a dispute than being a jerk. The next time you are put in a situation and you need to demand a manager try the calm, assertive you-will-not-dismiss-me approach, you may be surprised by the results.

p.s. - The above situation was a quite an unusual outcome, but we all know the squeaky wheel gets the oil.  But say, for instance, your attempt to get at a favorable resolution to an issue you’re having is not being solved to your satisfaction.  You may want to check out MSN’s other article about resolving complaints by…threats!  Trust me, I was only one more failed conversation away from taking the same approach.

-Tempo

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